The Hair Theory

How hair impacts tennis performance

If I want to render some of the men in my circle insecure, all I have to do to achieve that is to make a snide comment about their hair. And by some men, I mean all men in my circle.

“New haircut?” When there is no new haircut to be found.

“What’s up with your hair?” When you just want to stir the pot a little bit.

A long, contemplative look via the upper head is sometimes all it takes to do the trick: Man rendered insecure.

I’m still convinced my coach Petar cost a very famous, very talented former top 3 player four months of his career by casually walking past him in the gym, stroking his own (Petar’s) head and telling that player: “Soon you will look like me.” Petar is bald and has been bald since his mid-twenties. The player in question, usually a handsome and confident young man, started stuttering and explaining and clarifying and proceeded to lose in the first round for the next 5 tournaments. It took a while before he recovered from that heavy blow to his ego and stabilised his form.

Petar, I will say, is the exemption to the rule. No hair comment in the world, no matter how mean, could ever shake this man’s confidence.

Here is where I will revert back to this year’s US Open. Carlos Alcaraz accidentally shaving off his glorious shock of raven black hair and laughing about (and at) the tennis community reacting as if he had eaten a baby on the street should’ve been the first sign that he was going to get through this major tournament unscathed. Here is why.

the shock of hair that shocked and despaired

I was a professional tennis player when social media began its triumphant run at stifling our brain cells. Every day of my life, I would have comments about my appearance on my accounts. This is not surprising, I am a woman (even though many of the commenters said I was a man because I was muscular and had a perfect jawline) and that’s what we’ve faced for - well - ever. Sometimes I laughed, sometimes I cried and sometimes I’d call adidas and ask them to send me t-shirts instead of sleeveless tops because I wanted to hide my muscles at least for a while (nothing I can do about that jawline).

No matter how little you pretend to care, one comment or another will show annoying staying power and take up residence somewhere among those stifled brain cells. That’s why you rarely ever see women on TV looking anything short of perfect. Even tennis players and athletes nowadays have their hair accurately braided, wear outfits that seem to be tailor made, the skin is flawless and make-up is on point. They all have read too many comments and have heard too much chattering behind their back to not make sure there is NOTHING in their appearance that could make people talk; knowing full well that people will always find something.

frosted tips atop his head sits

What’s general appearance to women in the public eye is hair to men in the public eye, particularly athletes. That’s the one thing where they can show some personality or hide a bald spot or be bold in bald’s stead (this wordplay right there might’ve been my masterpiece). Think Jack Draper with the frosted tips echoing the early 2000s with their boybands and David Beckhams and the rise of the metrosexual man who is allowed to use moisturisers and clip his nails. Think Taylor Fritz with the bleached blonde hair from last year proudly nodding to his heritage of a Southern Californian boy who likes surfing and Fall Out Boy a little too much. Think Alexander Zverev and his man bun that went out of style about 10 years ago but tennis players don’t care for trends. He’s been wearing a hair cut that can only be described as urgently needed.

blonde and bleached by the beach

What I’m trying to say is: To tell a man that his hair is not it is the most malicious thing one can do to a man’s ego. The entire tennis community (and beyond) did it to Carlos and all Carlos did was smile. He only dropped a single set in the final against Jannik Sinner, won the US Open and reclaimed the world number 1 ranking. Carlos Alcaraz has real confidence. The kind of confidence that cannot be shaken by outside forces, the sort that wins you major titles.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is my hair theory. It’s wild and inaccurate but it is mine. The hair theory is also why I think we have had so many fantastic ginger-haired male tennis player. Boris Becker, Jim Courier, Jannik Sinner. If you can go through youth while orange-haired and freckled, you can do anything.

where’s the fun in man bun?

Things that make me happy:

I just recently re-watched The Social Network about Facebook’s rise in the digital era and the people behind it. Aaron Sorkin wrote the dialogue which made me very happy but also made me wish we would all speak like Aaron Sorkin has his characters talk to each other. If only we could be as witty and quick, everyday life would be so much more interesting.

Things that make me unhappy:

Apologies for my missed newsletter last week but I got sick as a dog right after the US Open. Being sick has its upsides like watching movies and reading books and nobody to stop you but the fever and coughing and stuffed nose is to be avoided at all costs. Peppermint tea with a lot of lemon and honey was my saving grace.

May you have a last sunshine filled weekend before the despair of autumn hits us again. Read you all next week!

Yours truly, Andrea