All the women in my (tennis) life

Part III: Angie, the rival (the friend)

I always say, if tennis was played from the baseline only, Angie Kerber would have been the greatest female tennis player of all times. I know that because I have played the greatest female tennis player of all times. Sadly for Angie, a serve is required in tennis.

The first time we played each other, we must have been 12-years-old, was in the semifinals of the National German Championship and in the second set I twisted my ankle and tore a ligament. Believe it or not, I felt relieved. Tearing a ligament was nothing compared to the deeply felt desperation Angie puts you in on the tennis court.

What makes it so challenging playing her is the Trifecta of Kerberism as I call it. She has mastered the defensive game, anticipating where a struck ball will land before it is struck. She moves efficiently, fluently, balanced. A photographer once told me photographing Angie on the court was the easiest job of all because every shot was a winner (LOL). In every single photograph she looks perfectly in balance whereas most other tennis players in an action photo look like they are, well, in action.

Furthermore, she has mastered the counterpunching game. You can hit the ball as hard and deep as you can she will just use your strength, your pace, redirect the ball and end you. The messed-up part about this is that it almost always feels like you are playing a way more advanced version of yourself. Like an AI that uses your best parts and ignores your worst. It is somehow even more soul-crushing.

And the real danger, the season 2016 type of danger, came along when Angie started to master the offensive game, too. Through the sheer act of will and discipline and a tad bit of freedom from a former negative self, she ventured to attack second serves, run around backhands to punch you with her forehand right up the jaw (there’s a reason I have a nearly perfect jawline) and let’s not even begin with the crouching passing shots she pulls off. I still have PTSD from it. The Trifecta of Kerberism. In the season of the year of our Lord 2016 the trifecta got her a title at the Australian Open, one at the US Open, a silver medal at the Olympic Games and the world number one ranking.

a perfect jawline chiseled by years of angie kerber forehands

I beat Angie three times. Once in Linz, once in Paris and once in Dubai. There are 200 reasons why I remember those wins so vividly and they are called all the losses I ever had against her. Three accidents shine brightly in a night full of horrors. The irony about this path of failure on my part is that I would have never had the career I had without Angie by my side. Sometimes leading the way, sometimes breathing down my neck. Most times leading the way. I strained, I strived, I seethed. I strained and strived to get close. I seethed when I couldn’t. Nevertheless in the end, it always made me better.

Arnold Schwarzenegger says that he learned the most important life lesson from bodybuilding. You need to break the muscle before it can grow. Literally rupture fibres for it to have the impetus to increase in size. I would rearrange that quote. You need to be broken by Angie Kerber before you can grow. And boy, did I get broken (also LOL because she is one of the best returners in the game). I swear one day I will stop alerting to my wordplay manoeuvres and just have the confidence to let them sit. But not today.

I never felt envious of Angie, I always felt jealous. I differentiate between the two because if you had asked me whether I would have liked to be in her shoes when she was at her best, I would have always said yes – that’s jealousy. You want something, somebody else already has. Yet at the same time, I was always her biggest champion (the GOAT debate that never happened) and ecstatic every time she won a big title. Envy to me is not wanting somebody else to have what you also don’t. Envious, no. Jealous, always.

“you annoy me but i love you”

If you don’t believe me: there is a press conference of mine on the internet after I made the semis in Cincinnati in 2011, somebody asking me how it felt to be the first German in the TOP 10 in x amount of years. Actually, I said, there is a German out there who is a much better tennis player than me and she will be huge soon. Two weeks later Angie Kerber made the semis at the US Open, losing to Sam Stosur in 3 sets, who that year would end up winning her only major single’s title. I feel like I cemented my profession as a tennis expert right there right then. That and creepily wanting to be close to Jim Courier but that’s for another day.

I wrote about rivalries before and how important I think they are but I approached it light-heartedly. Now, however, I want to say: Having a good rival you love can change your life. Maybe send the person you are secretly thinking of right now but never admitted to yourself nor others they lived rent-free in your head your favourite book and see what happens. I’m grateful for the friendship Angie provided me. But I’m more grateful for her rivalry. Arnold Schwarzenegger would be proud of me.

friends, sisters, rivals

Things that make me happy:

Lately, I have been reading an essay collection by the great American writer Lawrence Weschler Vermeer in Bosnia. In it is a piece about the light in L.A. and it really struck a chord with me having spent some time there recently for work. Weschler basically goes around Los Angeles asking artist, poets and scientists why the light here is so special. It’s a truly fascinating piece and you can find it here: The Light of LA

Things that make me unhappy:

Just when I was writing this piece Angie lost to Emma Raducanu in straight sets at the Porsche Tennis Grand Prix and it really felt like I jinxed her. I know I don’t have that kind of power but I sometimes like to think that I do. Emma, though, played brilliantly and almost ended up making the things that make me happy category. Ah well.

I am putting the finishing touches on this piece while sipping Earl Grey and just wanted to emphasise what a great thing hot beverages are. Hopefully, you are having your favourite kind right this moment while reading.

I will see you all next week and until then I remain…

Yours truly, Andrea